Things I've Learned

This whole PCOS thing has been a roller coaster. Weight goes up, goes down, goes up a little, struggle harder to make it go down. Overall though, I've never felt better in my life!

I've learned a lot over the last couple of years, and the main things I've learned are to never give up and never stop learning.

I learn something new every day whether I want to or not. Yesterday, for example, I was reminded that during yoga, when you're out like an airplane with one leg bent out over your back while balancing on the other leg, you don't think about it. Just do it. The second you start to think about it: think about what you look like, look at the people around--you lose balance and fall. You have to actively think about not thinking. Whoa.

Airplane pose

I've learned what makes me feel strong and what makes me feel foolish. I prefer feeling strong, but feeling foolish affords me a different type of learning--humility. I learned that I hate Zumba. I don't like the way it makes me feel, the way I look, the way I try to translate the songs from Spanish into English....it makes me feel like a beached walrus trying frantically to move forward up an icy slope to get to the top. A Sisyphus walrus who sucks at Zumba.

Spinning, however, and the class called "Power" make me feel ten-feet tall and bullet proof. I feel strong. Powerful. Accomplished. I'm proud of every last drop of boob sweat I earn there. Yoga does the same thing....and if you think you won't sweat in yoga you're w-r-o-n-g!

I've learned to hold myself accountable. If I want a cookie, I'll have a cookie. I don't hide what I eat from anyone, eating didn't cause PCOS and eating won't get rid of it. I'm responsible for taking my medicine, getting enough sleep, managing my stress, working out, and being honest with myself.

I've learned to love myself. As I am. Right now. I'm nearing the 40 pound loss mark--yay--but sometimes I get on the scale and I'm terrified that I'll all nearly 40 pounds back on over night. I'm so much more than that number though. And even though I jump up and down now that my size 14 pants are as big as 18s felt a few months ago, I know I'm more than that number too (but boy do those 12s feel good!).

Finally, I've learned how much I love talking about the changes I've made in my life! Not because I'm an example, a role model, an inspiration. I'm only so honest in my blogs because I pretend that no one reads them. But, you never know who needs to hear what you have to say--good, bad, or ugly. And you never know whose life you might change just by sharing something about yours. That goes for all aspects of life.

  


"Victory belongs to the most persevering."
- Napoleon

Photography Giveaway from Tunes & Spoons/ Holly L. Robbins Photography!

So many people are engaged, getting married, having babies...or just like to have pictures to capture life's memories so I wanted to share this giveaway that my friend Rachel posted in her blog, Tunes and Spoons♥

I'm sharing because #1, after seeing Rachel's photos I fell in love with Holly's talent! #2, uhhh...I'm engaged and I would LOVE to win this giveaway for myself and my wedding, but I'm not so selfish as to withhold such awesome information from you! #3, its an awesome giveaway and the recipient will be soo lucky and blessed to have gorgeous photos to remember their special occasion with!

Rachel's blog lists the instructions as this:

Dear engaged friends

Dear singers who need headshots

Dear marrieds

Dear families

Dear preggie friends

Dear friends with new babies

Dear anyone who wants to have flawless beautiful photos,

To one lucky reader Holly is offering:

50% off any photo session with Holly L.Robbins Photography AND an additional 25% off of one of her amazing print collections!  That is an incredibly huge savings and awesome opportunity.  

Here is how to enter (leave separate comments for each entry):

1. You must be a follower of the Tunes & Spoons Blog (link above)

2. You must like her Facebook Fan Page

3. Comment on Rachel's Post at Tunes and Spoons and leave your email address.

For additional entries:

1. Visit her website and tell me which kind of photo session you would like to have with her.

2. Follow her blog.

3. Post this giveaway to your blog or your facebook.

And because Holly is so wonderful she is also extending the 25% off of print collections to anyone who would like to book a photo session if you mention 'Tunes & Spoons' in your booking.  See why I love this lady so much.

This giveaway will be closed January 30th and the winner announced then. Good luck!

I love it!

Happy New Year! A new year often bring s a new perspective, but sometimes it also brings in a lot of feelings in inadequacy. The past couple of weeks have been inundated with "I'm the fat one..." and "I hate my body" and "I wish I had her body..." comments. I'm sick of that crap (even though I can totally relate to those feelings).

Bottom line: you have to love yourself first. You have to love yourself enough to want whats best for you even when that means hard work and sacrifice. Tough love. But, loving yourself first gives you so much more perspective and an appreciation for every little thing you do to better yourself--in whatever way you choose--as you move towards a more fulfilling life.

Right now.

As far as weight loss and PCOS is concerned, I can't hate my body. There are things I don't like (I'm talking to you stretch marks) but I wouldn't trade my hips and butt for Jennifer Anniston's legs or Michelle Obama's arms.

I was working out tonight in a room of thin, pretty girls who are probably about my age. Sometimes its easy to feel self conscious about that, but you know what? We're all in the gym for the same reason. We're all gonna sweat, stink, get red-faced and out of breath. And honestly, they probably are too concerned trying to keep up than with how I'm doing. *whew* As I was working out, I looked in the mirror, you know those great mirrored walls? And I realized something profound: I love my body.

I love that I have two feet that plant firmly on the ground, lift me up on my toes, catch me when I jump up off the floor just one more time. I'm thankful for strong legs that have moved me 67+ miles in the last eight months and taught me to run. I'm thankful for arms that can do a few more reps even though I want to quit. Those same arms that hug my friends and family, carry my groceries, and push my body up off the ground even though I'm really ready to throw in the towel. I'm thankful for the core that holds it all together. Even though it jiggles from time to time, that's the place belly laughs come from and laughing yourself to sleep next to the love of your life is the most peaceful feeling I've ever experienced. I'm thankful for the head atop my shoulders and the voice inside my head that says "you can do anything for 10...15...20...30...minutes" until its done. I'm thankful for the sweat, the sore muscles, the gallons of water I drink. I don't work this hard because I hate my body, I work this hard because I love it.

So every time you want to call yourself fat, remember, the word you mean to say is "beautiful" and keep trucking along! Its a hard row to hoe, but loving yourself now allows you to love yourself even more on down the road.

2012 Will Be My Year!

Y'all. Can I just say that 2012 will be my year? Because, it totally will! 

Today I finished my second official 5k in 52:08, which is a little slower than my first 5k but after two months without really running, I knew I wasn't exactly prepared for this race but I did it anyway. The first mile sucked. It took a little while for me to get into my groove, but miles 2 and 3 went by pretty smoothly, thanks in part to this song: Jeremy Camp--Give you Glory which I've now decided is my "power song" because it fits my pace perfectly and its just uplifting! I was ready to give up, throw up, and quit--but I didn't--and the rest of the race was awesome.

2012 will be the year I:
- Run my first 10k (5.5.12)
- Pay off all my credit card debt
- Marry my best friend (8.25.12)
- Reach my GOAL weight (NLT 12.31.12)
...among other wonderful things I can't even imagine!

I know 2012 will come with challenges, but I welcome them with an open mind...without challenges we can't grow!

"As we fall down before You
With our willing hearts we seek
In the greatness of Your glory
It's so hard to even speak
There is nothing we can offer
No nothing can repay
So we give You all our praises
And lift our voice to sin!"
[Jeremy Camp]

Once upon a Christmas ♥

Once upon a time there was Christmas. I've always loved Christmas like you wouldn't believe. Christmas is the perfect time of year and Christmas music never goes out of season. Ever. Even in July...or February...or August.

This year, I woke up at 3:18 and could not go back to sleep. I was too excited, for no particular reason. Finally, David decided to get up and make me coffee at 4:30 and our little doggy child could not believe we were awake so early. She did NOT want to get up! Her cuteness, my love-filled coffee, and my boyfriend getting up before dawn cracked just because its Christmas ♥

Best. Christmas. Ever.

So, I unwrapped a Foodsaver and I was PUMPED! I've wanted one ever since the original came out and the infommercials with the guy named Jan....childhood dream come true!! Then, I unwrapped the Willow Tree cake topper. Poor David, I thought, he got me something I absolutely love and wanted...but he doesn't understand its for cake...like a wedding cake. I say, "thank you honey, I'll save it until the time is right," I say.

AWESOMENESSSSSSSS!

And a Willow Tree Cake Topper, which I had been not-so-secretly admiring for a while now, but ya know, why get a cake topper if you're not getting...married....right?

Aww thanks honey...I'll....ummm....save this...until...well...I guess until you decide to marry me...

David will tell you he was really disappointed that I was so excited about the Foodsaver. I was supposed to be disappointed at getting a Foodsaver because its an appliance (whatever!) and he was going to let me down with the Foodsaver and then build me up. Silly David!

And then...like in the movies...he says, "well, you have one other present..." and walks to the Christmas tree...the TOP of the tree by our star. "You can't have a cake without a wedding (pulls out ring box) [I interject, are you for real?!]....so...(on bended knee at 5:14am) will you marry me?" "Did you talk to my Daddy?" "I did." "Awwww then yes!"

And they lived happily ever after ♥

Miracles Happen ♥

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
I got a new star this morning!!

I'm never excited to step on the scale on Saturday mornings...never...I don't dread it, but its kind of like the first day of school--you never really know what to expect. Sometimes, after a bad day or week I step on the scale just to make sure it hasn't added 35.2 pounds back up--luckily, it hasn't! 

In fact this week, I experienced my first ever scale miracle (a terms WWers use for those "holy COW how did that awesomeness happen?!") because I am down 2.4 pounds this week and its a PMS week! That means the night I had ice cream for dinner followed by pizza at lunch didn't ruin my week. I also started back on semi-solid-chewable food this week, so I can't blame this on the liquid diet, but I have NO idea how it happened!

35.2 pounds. GONE. Forever. That's an incredible 23 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts or-- 141 sticks of butter--eat your heart out Paula Deen!!

This is only 104 sticks, so add 37...you get the picture!

I finally feel like I'm changing...like I actually look different. This time last year, the tag on my pants said "18" and it didn't feel normal...and it certainly didn't feel pretty or confident. Today, the tag says "12" which is a big freaking deal! Plus, I'm *almost* out of the obese category for BMI...I've never considered myself obese (and I've already lowered my BMI by like 6 points!).

My mouth is finally feeling better, my next race is in 2 weeks from tomorrow and this time next year, I will have lost 79 pounds. I'm also only 3 pounds away from my goal of losing 30 pounds in 2011! Who makes New Years Resolutions and sticks to them? This girl, that's who!

Thankful Thursday ♥

Today is a sad day for me and some of my friends...there was a shooting at the campus of Virginia Tech which sent echoes of the April 16, 2007 through the airwaves, stinging the not-yet-healed wounds that were left from that rampage. It also brings back memories of what happened in my own town on March 23, 2011. Today, an officer was killed doing his/her (not yet released) job protecting the students and citizens of Virginia Tech and Blacksburg, VA. Please take a moment to remember them in your thoughts and prayers.

Today, I am thankful that, while there is great evil in our world, there is also great love, kindness, respect, and encouragement. I'm thankful for the men and women, whose names we never hear, doing jobs that require them to rush in when everyone else is rushing out. I'm thankful for a God who promises never to leave us, especially in times of sadness, and who gives us strength when we're ready to give up. I'm thankful that, while their own hearts break, there are officers from multiple agencies scouring areas where they know danger lurks at any second, because that's what they're paid to do.

I remember and still see the way Athens banded together when our community was shattered by a similar situation and it encourages me to know that out of something so bad, so many lives were also changed for the better. So much good came from a combined love for one family. I hope the Hokie nation and their loved ones can find that same kind of peace.

Today...and every day...we have so much to be thankful for.