Thursday, January 27, 2011

Lest We Not Give Up!!

Well, thanks to my doctor going on vacation and my insurance company having the slowest fax machine in Georgia I've had to reschedule my doctor's appointment for tomorrow (it will now take place on 2/11 same place, same time). I'm disappointed, but I'm taking it in stride because everything happens for a reason.

So, some happy news! I'm totally pumped about my No 'Poo 2011 Campaign! I've gone almost two weeks without using real shampoo or conditioner and I still love the way my hair feels and of course, I really love that I'm saving money and the environment while also preventing chemicals from eeking into my pores and water system. I really like that I'm doing something I enjoy, that's good for me and totally off the wall from the mainstream. And no, my hair still doesn't smell like vinegar!

On a side note, I graduated!! And I started my next round of classes on Tuesday. So far so good. I'm optimistic, but I've gotta stay organized and focused.

I've also got to get back on track with my stress management and exercise! Especially since that means working out by myself, which makes me so nervous. I hate being at a restaurant alone, but I hate being on an elliptical alone even more! I need to get over that though and learn to workout on my own. Its the only way I'll keep my PCOS in check, my weight coming off and my health as my #1 priority!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

There Could Never be a More Beautiful You

I've heard this song a thousand times and tonight, it just had such a different impact on me: (from http://www.jonnydiaz.com/?p=77)

Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn’t straight her body isn’t fake
And she’s always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don’t buy the lies, disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

--
You see, PCOS has had such a huge impact on my "physical" self, but the emotional impacts can't be denied either. Take yourself, fresh out of high school, 19, active, perfectly healthy, confident--and add 65 pounds for no apparent reason, over the course of three months (January to March). Then imagine that no matter what you do, doctors tell you there's nothing wrong "eat less, exercise more."

My physical body changed...a lot...so much that it keeps (and has kept) me from taking family pictures and meeting up with old friends--good friends, who I know in my heart would NEVER judge me based on my appearance. PCOS has made me hate mirrors, short sleeves and tank tops, bikinis, shorts and summer in general but it has forced me to unconditionally love myself exactly as I am. I was made to fill a purpose, that only I can do--there can never be a more beautiful ME!

Part of that purpose is (hopefully) teaching someone something they didn't know before about PCOS and living a healthier lifestyle. One of the MANY things PCOS has taught me is essentially not to judge a book (person) by its cover (appearance).

I didn't "get" PCOS from overeating, being lazy, eating the wrong kinds of foods or by ANY of the general assumptions associated with someone who is overweight. I used to think I did this to myself. Now I look at it as, no, I did not do this to myself, but I am the only one who can dig myself out of this hole. I like a challenge, and this is one I am ready to face.

In so many ways, I'm thankful for PCOS because it has taught me about lifestyle changes I never knew I needed to make. Things like chemicals, organic foods, hormones, nature....PCOS is primarily responsible for bringing me to a place where I've put myself first, my health, and the health of the babies I want to have down the road--all of that is totally in perspective thanks to PCOS....its not a death sentence, its just a chapter in a pre-written book for which I do not yet have an ending. I'm through with PCOS holding me back. Its time to KEEP living! I have PCOS, it does NOT have me :)

There could never be a more beautiful you.
Don’t buy the lies, disguises and hoops they make you jump through.
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do.
So there could never be a more beautiful you!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

No Poo 2011 ♥

So, I've talked a lot about organic food, the harmful effects of BPA, hormones & injectibles in our food, etc. but what I haven't talked about is make up and beauty things...well now, that is exactly what I'm going to talk about!

PCOS is an endocrine disorder. That means that what goes "in" our bodies has a direct impact on PCOS symptoms. How do things get "into" our bodies? We eat them, drink them, breathe them...and oh yeah: ABSORB them through our skin! Now, as my own personal disclaimer I haven't avoided this topic because I don't believe it, I've never been one to wear make up, obsess over my appearance or worry about lotions and creams--no, no, I'm the exact opposite! Well, that's changed recently.

You see, PCOS has changed how I feel and how I perceive myself. In my mind, I'm 135 pounds still...on the scale? Not even close. Its like reverse Shallow Hal (its ok to laugh at that, I do!). So, I started the New Year wanting to do things that make me feel more confident, and taking a little more time on my outward appearance has helped to boost my inward feelings and self confidence--which also helps keep me motivated to stay on track with my PCOS management (which is currently limited to diet and exercise).

So, no poo huh? Yes. Shampoo that is! See, shampoos (and virtually all other "health & beauty" marketables) are chock full of chemicals. Manmade things, synthesized in some lab where people have to wear respirators, gloves and safety goggles--does that sound like the rainforest botanicals they put in the pictures on their bottles? No. So, I'm taking the plunge I should have taken two years ago and readjusting the chemicals included in my daily shower: no shampoo, no conditioner. I'm replacing them with baking soda and apple cider vinegar respectively. Its cheaper (Dave Ramsey would be proud) and free from harmful chemicals so its better for me and the Earth. I tried it for the first time tonight and I was pleasantly surprised with the initial outcome. And no, it does NOT smell like vinegar!

For more info on "No Poo" go here: http://www.naturemoms.com/no-shampoo-alternative.html

I've already been using local, chemical free soaps--I alternate between a lemon/goats milk, oatmeal & cinnamon and Burt's Bees throughout the week. The brown color of the soap makes the shower a little dirtier, but my skin feels SO much better!

Next, I have to express some outrage at the lack of affordable, organic cosmetics in this Capitalist society! While not perfect, Bare Minerals has been the closest thing to chemical free I can find...and it doesn't look like "make up" which I like. But gee whiz, talk about expensive! That was my 22nd birthday present to myself. Its an investment in my self esteem, and I'm worth it.

Today, I had my first experiment with DIY facial masks as well: banana, yogurt and honey. Delicious! Also moisturizing. 1/2 a banana, 2 tbsp yogurt (I used Stoneyfield yo-Baby peach) and 1 tbsp of honey (also local). Mix it up an schmear! Lick your fingers clean :) Then, wait about 10 minutes and rinse off. It smells so good and felt really nice too.

I am 100% shamelessly loyal to Burts Bees. They have the lowest toxicity of almost any cosmetic/beauty manufacturer and they also have a strong environmental conscience--but I'm also always on the lookout for local, sustainable, chemical free products...if you can't buy local but want some better-for-you-buys go with Burts Bees!

In other news, I'm down 1.2 pounds this week after being snowed in for 3 days--miracle! And I look forward to hitting my 5% mark soon!

I'll keep you posted on the No Poo Progress!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Back to Square One

So, in my last post today was supposed the be THE day for me and my PCOS journey... I was going to see Dr. Perloe, the best of the best, and he was going to answer my questions, run some tests, give me a pep talk and some medical advice on what steps I need to take to keep my PCOS in check and prevent diabetes and I was going to leave refreshed! Confident! And feeling so much better about driving to Atlanta to see a PCOS specialist! Well, that didn't happen. What it boils down to is insurance...and the $500 I don't have to spend seeing a doctor for a consultation and ultrasound for a third opinion on my diagnosis. I was thoroughly disappointed, but everything happens for a reason and the people I spoke with at GRS were absolutely kind, understanding and wonderful! If my insurance decides to make them an in-network provider I will jump all over that!

So, I'm back to square one. To give you some background, I was looking for a different doctor because my internist decided to join some medical club and start charging a $1500 annual fee to "join" his practice and my OB/GYN said he "isn't fully convinced" I have PCOS--not a good enough answer for me.

Now, my PCOS journey brings me into the doctor search again. Right now, I'm looking for either an internal specialist or an endocrinologist or both and I'm willing to travel basically anywhere in Georgia to find one who will listen and be proactive. I've sent a few emails, done a little research and asked some PCOS friends around the state and I hope to find someone, somewhere.

In the meantime, I'm working to try and be a low-stress as possible and keep the positivity flowing. That's where David comes in to play... I know he doesn't understand all the hormones and tests and abbreviations or why I do crazy stuff like drink organic coffee from ceramic (not plastic) travel mugs because BPA jacks with my system, but he loves and supports my level of crazy anyway. Yesterday, when I told him about the setback with GRS (which is just really frustrating...its not like I'm dying, I'm just trying so hard to get two doctors to agree on something) his response was "its going to be ok, we'll find someone...I know there's someone our there for us and we'll find him." It was the use of "we" not "you" that made the difference. Its never just been "me" in this journey, its "we" and that is a huge deal of support and support makes a huge difference to me.

So, for now we're back o square one but working diligently towards a solution. I'm still sticking with my WW Plan and next week the fitness center at work opens back up so between the elliptical, the pool and yoga I'm going to keep busy--just in time for finals to be over!!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Year, New Perspective, New Goals, New ME!

Happy New Year!!!

A stark difference from last year, David and I stayed in on NYE and had a nice quiet dinner and a night full of football (what is going on with these SEC teams?!?)--perfect ending to a really great year!

2010 had its share of challenges, but the joys and triumphs stand brighter in my memory so it is with an open heart and an open mind that I welcome 2011 with open arms...and a cup of coffee!

So, a New Year brings a new perspective and new goals and ultimately a new ME!

I've struggled the last two weeks to shed any pounds, but I noticed yesterday I have lost a pant size (at least) which feels so good! Funny thing is I figured it out on accident--laundry day required that I dig a little deeper into my closet to find some jeans!

So, the new perspective is a clearer version of the old perspective: life is what you make it, so make it worth living--you define "living."

On to the goals: these are "goals" not "resolutions" because the general connotation for "resolution" in my mind is "temporary." I can't do temporary, I've gotta keep my eyes clear and on the big picture that I'm already making my own.

One goal I have is to read and reflect on my "Notes From the Universe" which asserts that "thoughts become things. Choose goods ones." Its a simple email-a-day and makes a difference in the way I view my day...so its a good, positive way to stay focused. If you'd like to sign up, go here:http://www.tut.com/theclub/

Next, my goal for 2011 is to shed between 30-50 pounds. Now, many of my WW pals say "shed 50 in 2011" which MANY of them did in 2010--kudos to you!! For me and PCOS (my wieght loss journey tag-along)weight loss is a lot more difficult and unpredictable--so I will feel incredibly accomplished with 30 pounds lost in the next 12 months. Plus, this is a healthy pace...and will bring me closer to my ultimate goals for being healthy!

Finally, I'm working towards committing myself further to being an overall healthier person. The standard "drink more water and exercise more" still stands true, but I'm changing my entire lifestyle, or rather continuing to change and grow and adapt my lifestyle to meet my health needs. In 2011 my goals circulate around being consistent, disciplined and determined to keep my eye on the prize--I am the prize!! And so are my future babies, wedding, graduation, travels and dreams--I don't want all of these things are this very moment, but I will one day...and I will be so grateful for the time I've invested into myself to bring my emotional being, physical being and my health into one, beautiful, healthy place!

So, whether you claim resolutions or New Years excitement or you woke up this morning and it was just another Saturday, I leave you with this:

you're the only person who knows what's right for you. The only one. And if you already know what this is, commit to it. If you don't, commit to nothing.

Happy New Year!