I Can Conquer the World!

I just finished my sixth, yes, sixth week of running Couch to 5k. That's a 5 minute warm up, 25 minutes run, and a 5 minute cool down for a grand total of 2.41 miles! After a run, I feel like I can conquer the world. During the run, I feel a little less confident, but when I feel like giving up (and I did today) I distract myself by thinking. Running is a great time to think, envision greatness, set mini-goals, and empower yourself. Today, when the little guy in my ipod said "ten minutes left" I thought he MUST be kidding me! So then, I thought about race day.

My race is in 20 days!! My very first ever 5k. I feel like I'm waiting on Christmas (which is in a mere 81 days, mind you) and I was envisioning me after the race, feeling sooooo empowered to know I'm not the fastest, not the slowest, but that I did it! More importantly, I envisioned a family photo and going out to an after-the-race dinner with my family. See, I need my family's support at this race I'm realizing. At first, I didn't want anyone there but me, because I'm wearing spandex, I'm still overweight, and you know, I didn't want to be embarrassed. But now, I want my family there: mom, dad, step-mom, brothers, sisters, brother-in-law, nephews, even David's family! They've all played such a crucial, encouraging role in this journey, and I just need them there at the race, cheering me on, and being a part of what will be the first picture I've WANTED to be taken of myself in almost 3 years. No kidding. Its not just a want, but a need, one of those heartfelt, as-seen-in-the-movies, fly across the country kind of things. And then, we're going to Olive Garden. Yes, all of this I thought while I was running at 8:30 this morning. I also thought, I need to email them and state my case!

Then the little guy in my ipod said "two minutes left" and I was reminded of about three weeks ago when "two minutes left" was like a death sentence. I'd tell myself, "I can do anything for two minutes" and now that's turned into "I can do anything" for ten...and then twenty....and now twenty-five minutes." And you know what? I can! I can conquer the world!

Finally, "one minute left!" from Mr. iPod guy and I get passed by a 70 year old man with legs of steel. You'd think I might feel discouraged by this, but no way Jose! He ran by, said "good morning!" I responded and smiled, feeling totally empowered. Then the little guy said "cool down" and the angels did sing. I rounded the corner and our Kenyan neighbor from the other building was taking out his trash he smiled and said good morning, I returned the greeting with a smile, and then he said "Good Job" in broken English and gave me a thumbs up! I could feel his sincerity bursting from his smile = )

Two words, so simple, and it totally made my day: "Good job!"

Now I'm off to email my family and conquer the world!

--
Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it." Ezra 10:4

Changing My Body and Changing My Mind

I've decided that I'm going to attempt to include some pictures in my blog now, since its been over a year and I just learned how!

I just completed Week 6 Day 1 of C25K which means....I'm 3 weeks away from "graduating" and being able to run a 5k! My first 5k, of course, is coming up on October 15th and I am totally pumped! I've never wanted to do something badly, and never been so proud of myself for working hard towards such a powerful goal.

So, since I'm so pumped about running and I'm reminding myself that I just want to look like *me* I figured this was a fitting photographic reminder. Who cares if its from nearly 4 years ago?! Not me.

One thing I've learned from this whole experience is that to change my body, I have to change my mind. Shortly after the above picture was taken (by surprise actually, that wasn't a planned shot)I gained 60 pounds in a period of about 90 days. This was while walking 7 miles around campus everyday lugging a bookbag up the gauntlet known as Brumby hill and eating steamed veggies, drinking water, the whole healthy nine-yards. Doctors continued to say "eat less, exercise more" and at some point, that just didn't work for me. I *knew* something was wrong and it wasn't until February of this year (a whopping 3 years later) that I got a doctor to prescribe me the right lifestyle to make a difference.

But, that difference didn't come from some magic pill, or even from Victoza, it came from me. I decided that the babies I want to have in the future are worth working hard right now. I decided that buying local, organic produce and meats is worth the extra expense because, as Emerson said, the first wealth is health. And, I decided that it didn't matter what people thought, said, felt...I owe it to myself to do whatever it takes to be the best me possible. I couldn't be angry, embarrassed, sad, and I certainly couldn't be lazy. I had to change my mind before I could change my body!

Here's a more recent photo from St. Simon's Island in October of 2009. I was 30 pounds heavier then than I am now...and I guess I didn't look as bad as I think I did. Changing my mind....changing my body....

--
It doesn't matter what you've heard, impossible is not a word. Its just a reason for someone not to try. [Kutless]

Taking a Walk Down Memory Lane

Once upon a time, I was thinner than I am now. Also once upon a time, I was 30 pounds heavier than I am today. Here is a walk down memory lane, to remind me that I am awesome, I have a great sense of humor, and my hard work is going to allow me to feel 100% confident uploading new Facebook (and blog) pictures!!

Hey, I know the Dogs lost today, but this picture brought back some really skinny and confident vibes, I've been missing!

Look at those legs!!

This was my uber confident outfit, I've never felt prettier!

How awesome is it that I *don't* want to look like models, actresses, or the people I see in magazines? I only want to look like...ME!

--
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight, her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well, little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care, your skin, your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops, they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
--

Remind yourself...take a walk down memory lane :o)

No One Believes Your Excuses....Except YOU

I saw this quote on a fellow WW board member's signature and its stuck with me for a few days. After a few days of not running because I was tired, my stomach hurt, I didn't want to, blah blah blah, no one believed (or cared) about my excuses except me. I'm happy to report I quickly got back on board, and this month I'm tracking my monthly miles with a group of fellow WWers using the Monthly Miles challenge. That's great motivation because who wants to put a big goose egg when the chick above you ran 13 miles that day? Not this girl! So far so good. I started Week 5 of C25K and day one (which I will repeat a few times) has been my favorite interval so far, running 5 minutes and walking 3 minutes--very rewarding!

Also, as part of my Total Money Makeover, I read this passage tonight:

When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice it is small, but we do not criticize it as "rootless and stemless." We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed.

When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don't condemn it as immature and underdeveloped; we do not criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place, and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of development.

The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change: yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly alright as it is.

A flower is not better when it blooms than when it is merely a bud; at each stage it is the same thing...a flower in the process of expressing its potential.

The story of the rose is about human potential and not about being defined by what you do, but rather who you are. [Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey]

For me, the rose story relates to everything: weight loss, health, relationships, finances, spirituality...no one believes your excuses except you, so put on your big girl panties, plant the seed, and watch it grow!

...And Then it Hit Me

I'm going to do this.

I mean REALLY do this.

I've shed 30 pounds, have 39 to go...and I am going to make this HAPPEN!

In some ways I'm surprised it took me this long to feel convinced that I'm actually doing it. So far, I guess my mental game is that I'm "trying" but not that its actively changing my life! I feel thinner, I feel more confident, I like myself! I also push harder, stretch longer, and try to be more encouraging to the people I see who were me thirty pounds ago. It isn't that my weight defines me, or ever has, but its the feeling of being in control, loving myself, and actually thriving that makes all the difference.

In addition, I have a budget for the first time in my life. I'm losing weight, losing debt, and changing my life! I'm not destined to a life of unhealthy lifestyle and financial habits, and I'm continually learning new ways to be better. I've found a passion in life that changes myself first, and if I can learn it, I can teach it and help others to live their lives to the fullest--bless others the way I've been blessed to learn about PCOS, organic foods, activity, budgeting, savings--all of the above!

I'm gonna do this, and no one can stop me =)

__
"The greater danger for most of us is not
that our aim is too high and we miss it,
but that it is too low and we reach it."
- Michelangelo

★★★★★★ = 30 Pounds GONE!

Today, I woke up and weighed myself...I did the mental math and counted 29 pounds, Wohoooooooooo! Then, I logged into the Weight Watchers site to actually track my weight (after coffee of course) and realized that I really am as bad at math as I pretend to be...I officially met my 30 pound mark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Exactly 30 pounds from where I started. I even re-weighed to make sure I read the right number. That's the amount of cheese the average American eats each year!

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
(that's one star for every five pounds I've lost)
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

I've literally just sat at my computer wondering what I want to say...its just AMAZING! I had a medical doctor tell me (one year ago, actually) that I would probably never lose the weight I gained as a result of PCOS. Never? I disagree!

Just this week I overheard a conversation about how WW doesn't even work and "anyone who tells you it does is lying." Really? I disagree!

On top of that, I created my first budget ever...EVER...and I even found a great charity to donate to and my Total Money Makeover is off to a great start! I feel like such a grown up, a healthy, happy, smart, beautiful grown up! I'm getting physically and fiscally fit and I'm loving it!! These are two amazing things that will help my future and my ability to teach my future kids all about living a great, meaningful, and blessed life (while also being able to bless others)!

This is what I've lost:

1 pound = a Guinea Pig
1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts
2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs
3 pounds = an average human brain
4 pounds = an ostrich egg
5 pounds = a Chihuahua
6 pounds = a human’s skin
7.5 pounds = an average newborn
8 pounds = a human head
10 pounds= chemical additives an American consumes each year
11 pounds = an average housecat
12 pounds = a Bald Eagle
15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs
16 pounds = a sperm whale’s brain
20 pounds = an automobile tire
23 pounds = amount of pizza an average American eats in a year
24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super premium ice cream
25 pounds = an average 2 year old
30 pounds = amount of cheese an average American eats in a year

This is what I've gained:
- Health
- Happiness
- Confidence
- Motivation
- Gazelle intensity
- Peace
and the list goes on and on....

Finally, for my sister, I'm obligated to tell you about the following:
Nutella + FF Cream cheese on a saltine cracker! Its like a mini-chocolate cheesecake and the PERFECT bite sized, WW friendly, sweet-treat! It sounds gross (my sister even said 'NASTY' when I told her about it) but it is sooooooo good!

--
"The heights by great men reached and
kept, were not attained by sudden
flight, but they, while their companions
slept, were toiling upward in the night."
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

How to Live (a reminder)

"How to Live" by Charles Harper Webb, from Amplified Dog. © Red Hen Press. Reprinted with permission.

How to Live

"I don't know how to live."
–Sharon Olds

Eat lots of steak and salmon and Thai curry and mu shu
pork and fresh green beans and baked potatoes
and fresh strawberries with vanilla ice cream.
Kick-box three days a week. Stay strong and lean.
Go fly-fishing every chance you get, with friends

who'll teach you secrets of the stream. Play guitar
in a rock band. Read Dostoyevsky, Whitman, Kafka,
Shakespeare, Twain. Collect Uncle Scrooge comics.
See Peckinpah's Straw Dogs, and everything Monty Python made.
Love freely. Treat ex-partners as kindly

as you can. Wish them as well as you're able.
Snorkel with moray eels and yellow tangs. Watch
spinner dolphins earn their name as your panga slam-
bams over glittering seas. Try not to lie; it sours
the soul. But being a patsy sours it too. If you cause

a car wreck, and aren't hurt, but someone is, apologize
silently. Learn from your mistake. Walk gratefully
away. Let your insurance handle it. Never drive drunk.
Don't be a drunk, or any kind of "aholic." It's bad
English, and bad news. Don't berate yourself. If you lose

a game or prize you've earned, remember the winners
history forgets. Remember them if you do win. Enjoy
success. Have kids if you want and can afford them,
but don't make them your reason-to-be. Spare them that
misery. Take them to the beach. Mail order sea

monkeys once in your life. Give someone the full-on
ass-kicking he (or she) has earned. Keep a box turtle
in good heath for twenty years. If you get sick, don't thrive
on suffering. There's nothing noble about pain. Die
if you need to, the best way you can. (You define best.)

Go to church if it helps you. Grow tomatoes to put store-
bought in perspective. Listen to Elvis and Bach. Unless
you're tone deaf, own Perlman's "Meditation from Thais."
Don't look for hidden meanings in a cardinal's song.
Don't think TV characters talk to you; that's crazy.

Don't be too sane. Work hard. Loaf easily. Have good
friends, and be good to them. Be immoderate
in moderation. Spend little time anesthetized. Dive
the Great Barrier Reef. Don't touch the coral. Watch
for sea snakes. Smile for the camera. Don't say "Cheese."

--
For the full effect, visit this link: http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2006/11/03 and select "listen now"