Things I've Learned

This whole PCOS thing has been a roller coaster. Weight goes up, goes down, goes up a little, struggle harder to make it go down. Overall though, I've never felt better in my life!

I've learned a lot over the last couple of years, and the main things I've learned are to never give up and never stop learning.

I learn something new every day whether I want to or not. Yesterday, for example, I was reminded that during yoga, when you're out like an airplane with one leg bent out over your back while balancing on the other leg, you don't think about it. Just do it. The second you start to think about it: think about what you look like, look at the people around--you lose balance and fall. You have to actively think about not thinking. Whoa.

Airplane pose

I've learned what makes me feel strong and what makes me feel foolish. I prefer feeling strong, but feeling foolish affords me a different type of learning--humility. I learned that I hate Zumba. I don't like the way it makes me feel, the way I look, the way I try to translate the songs from Spanish into English....it makes me feel like a beached walrus trying frantically to move forward up an icy slope to get to the top. A Sisyphus walrus who sucks at Zumba.

Spinning, however, and the class called "Power" make me feel ten-feet tall and bullet proof. I feel strong. Powerful. Accomplished. I'm proud of every last drop of boob sweat I earn there. Yoga does the same thing....and if you think you won't sweat in yoga you're w-r-o-n-g!

I've learned to hold myself accountable. If I want a cookie, I'll have a cookie. I don't hide what I eat from anyone, eating didn't cause PCOS and eating won't get rid of it. I'm responsible for taking my medicine, getting enough sleep, managing my stress, working out, and being honest with myself.

I've learned to love myself. As I am. Right now. I'm nearing the 40 pound loss mark--yay--but sometimes I get on the scale and I'm terrified that I'll all nearly 40 pounds back on over night. I'm so much more than that number though. And even though I jump up and down now that my size 14 pants are as big as 18s felt a few months ago, I know I'm more than that number too (but boy do those 12s feel good!).

Finally, I've learned how much I love talking about the changes I've made in my life! Not because I'm an example, a role model, an inspiration. I'm only so honest in my blogs because I pretend that no one reads them. But, you never know who needs to hear what you have to say--good, bad, or ugly. And you never know whose life you might change just by sharing something about yours. That goes for all aspects of life.

  


"Victory belongs to the most persevering."
- Napoleon

Photography Giveaway from Tunes & Spoons/ Holly L. Robbins Photography!

So many people are engaged, getting married, having babies...or just like to have pictures to capture life's memories so I wanted to share this giveaway that my friend Rachel posted in her blog, Tunes and Spoons♥

I'm sharing because #1, after seeing Rachel's photos I fell in love with Holly's talent! #2, uhhh...I'm engaged and I would LOVE to win this giveaway for myself and my wedding, but I'm not so selfish as to withhold such awesome information from you! #3, its an awesome giveaway and the recipient will be soo lucky and blessed to have gorgeous photos to remember their special occasion with!

Rachel's blog lists the instructions as this:

Dear engaged friends

Dear singers who need headshots

Dear marrieds

Dear families

Dear preggie friends

Dear friends with new babies

Dear anyone who wants to have flawless beautiful photos,

To one lucky reader Holly is offering:

50% off any photo session with Holly L.Robbins Photography AND an additional 25% off of one of her amazing print collections!  That is an incredibly huge savings and awesome opportunity.  

Here is how to enter (leave separate comments for each entry):

1. You must be a follower of the Tunes & Spoons Blog (link above)

2. You must like her Facebook Fan Page

3. Comment on Rachel's Post at Tunes and Spoons and leave your email address.

For additional entries:

1. Visit her website and tell me which kind of photo session you would like to have with her.

2. Follow her blog.

3. Post this giveaway to your blog or your facebook.

And because Holly is so wonderful she is also extending the 25% off of print collections to anyone who would like to book a photo session if you mention 'Tunes & Spoons' in your booking.  See why I love this lady so much.

This giveaway will be closed January 30th and the winner announced then. Good luck!

I love it!

Happy New Year! A new year often bring s a new perspective, but sometimes it also brings in a lot of feelings in inadequacy. The past couple of weeks have been inundated with "I'm the fat one..." and "I hate my body" and "I wish I had her body..." comments. I'm sick of that crap (even though I can totally relate to those feelings).

Bottom line: you have to love yourself first. You have to love yourself enough to want whats best for you even when that means hard work and sacrifice. Tough love. But, loving yourself first gives you so much more perspective and an appreciation for every little thing you do to better yourself--in whatever way you choose--as you move towards a more fulfilling life.

Right now.

As far as weight loss and PCOS is concerned, I can't hate my body. There are things I don't like (I'm talking to you stretch marks) but I wouldn't trade my hips and butt for Jennifer Anniston's legs or Michelle Obama's arms.

I was working out tonight in a room of thin, pretty girls who are probably about my age. Sometimes its easy to feel self conscious about that, but you know what? We're all in the gym for the same reason. We're all gonna sweat, stink, get red-faced and out of breath. And honestly, they probably are too concerned trying to keep up than with how I'm doing. *whew* As I was working out, I looked in the mirror, you know those great mirrored walls? And I realized something profound: I love my body.

I love that I have two feet that plant firmly on the ground, lift me up on my toes, catch me when I jump up off the floor just one more time. I'm thankful for strong legs that have moved me 67+ miles in the last eight months and taught me to run. I'm thankful for arms that can do a few more reps even though I want to quit. Those same arms that hug my friends and family, carry my groceries, and push my body up off the ground even though I'm really ready to throw in the towel. I'm thankful for the core that holds it all together. Even though it jiggles from time to time, that's the place belly laughs come from and laughing yourself to sleep next to the love of your life is the most peaceful feeling I've ever experienced. I'm thankful for the head atop my shoulders and the voice inside my head that says "you can do anything for 10...15...20...30...minutes" until its done. I'm thankful for the sweat, the sore muscles, the gallons of water I drink. I don't work this hard because I hate my body, I work this hard because I love it.

So every time you want to call yourself fat, remember, the word you mean to say is "beautiful" and keep trucking along! Its a hard row to hoe, but loving yourself now allows you to love yourself even more on down the road.

2012 Will Be My Year!

Y'all. Can I just say that 2012 will be my year? Because, it totally will! 

Today I finished my second official 5k in 52:08, which is a little slower than my first 5k but after two months without really running, I knew I wasn't exactly prepared for this race but I did it anyway. The first mile sucked. It took a little while for me to get into my groove, but miles 2 and 3 went by pretty smoothly, thanks in part to this song: Jeremy Camp--Give you Glory which I've now decided is my "power song" because it fits my pace perfectly and its just uplifting! I was ready to give up, throw up, and quit--but I didn't--and the rest of the race was awesome.

2012 will be the year I:
- Run my first 10k (5.5.12)
- Pay off all my credit card debt
- Marry my best friend (8.25.12)
- Reach my GOAL weight (NLT 12.31.12)
...among other wonderful things I can't even imagine!

I know 2012 will come with challenges, but I welcome them with an open mind...without challenges we can't grow!

"As we fall down before You
With our willing hearts we seek
In the greatness of Your glory
It's so hard to even speak
There is nothing we can offer
No nothing can repay
So we give You all our praises
And lift our voice to sin!"
[Jeremy Camp]

Once upon a Christmas ♥

Once upon a time there was Christmas. I've always loved Christmas like you wouldn't believe. Christmas is the perfect time of year and Christmas music never goes out of season. Ever. Even in July...or February...or August.

This year, I woke up at 3:18 and could not go back to sleep. I was too excited, for no particular reason. Finally, David decided to get up and make me coffee at 4:30 and our little doggy child could not believe we were awake so early. She did NOT want to get up! Her cuteness, my love-filled coffee, and my boyfriend getting up before dawn cracked just because its Christmas ♥

Best. Christmas. Ever.

So, I unwrapped a Foodsaver and I was PUMPED! I've wanted one ever since the original came out and the infommercials with the guy named Jan....childhood dream come true!! Then, I unwrapped the Willow Tree cake topper. Poor David, I thought, he got me something I absolutely love and wanted...but he doesn't understand its for cake...like a wedding cake. I say, "thank you honey, I'll save it until the time is right," I say.

AWESOMENESSSSSSSS!

And a Willow Tree Cake Topper, which I had been not-so-secretly admiring for a while now, but ya know, why get a cake topper if you're not getting...married....right?

Aww thanks honey...I'll....ummm....save this...until...well...I guess until you decide to marry me...

David will tell you he was really disappointed that I was so excited about the Foodsaver. I was supposed to be disappointed at getting a Foodsaver because its an appliance (whatever!) and he was going to let me down with the Foodsaver and then build me up. Silly David!

And then...like in the movies...he says, "well, you have one other present..." and walks to the Christmas tree...the TOP of the tree by our star. "You can't have a cake without a wedding (pulls out ring box) [I interject, are you for real?!]....so...(on bended knee at 5:14am) will you marry me?" "Did you talk to my Daddy?" "I did." "Awwww then yes!"

And they lived happily ever after ♥

Miracles Happen ♥

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
I got a new star this morning!!

I'm never excited to step on the scale on Saturday mornings...never...I don't dread it, but its kind of like the first day of school--you never really know what to expect. Sometimes, after a bad day or week I step on the scale just to make sure it hasn't added 35.2 pounds back up--luckily, it hasn't! 

In fact this week, I experienced my first ever scale miracle (a terms WWers use for those "holy COW how did that awesomeness happen?!") because I am down 2.4 pounds this week and its a PMS week! That means the night I had ice cream for dinner followed by pizza at lunch didn't ruin my week. I also started back on semi-solid-chewable food this week, so I can't blame this on the liquid diet, but I have NO idea how it happened!

35.2 pounds. GONE. Forever. That's an incredible 23 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts or-- 141 sticks of butter--eat your heart out Paula Deen!!

This is only 104 sticks, so add 37...you get the picture!

I finally feel like I'm changing...like I actually look different. This time last year, the tag on my pants said "18" and it didn't feel normal...and it certainly didn't feel pretty or confident. Today, the tag says "12" which is a big freaking deal! Plus, I'm *almost* out of the obese category for BMI...I've never considered myself obese (and I've already lowered my BMI by like 6 points!).

My mouth is finally feeling better, my next race is in 2 weeks from tomorrow and this time next year, I will have lost 79 pounds. I'm also only 3 pounds away from my goal of losing 30 pounds in 2011! Who makes New Years Resolutions and sticks to them? This girl, that's who!

Thankful Thursday ♥

Today is a sad day for me and some of my friends...there was a shooting at the campus of Virginia Tech which sent echoes of the April 16, 2007 through the airwaves, stinging the not-yet-healed wounds that were left from that rampage. It also brings back memories of what happened in my own town on March 23, 2011. Today, an officer was killed doing his/her (not yet released) job protecting the students and citizens of Virginia Tech and Blacksburg, VA. Please take a moment to remember them in your thoughts and prayers.

Today, I am thankful that, while there is great evil in our world, there is also great love, kindness, respect, and encouragement. I'm thankful for the men and women, whose names we never hear, doing jobs that require them to rush in when everyone else is rushing out. I'm thankful for a God who promises never to leave us, especially in times of sadness, and who gives us strength when we're ready to give up. I'm thankful that, while their own hearts break, there are officers from multiple agencies scouring areas where they know danger lurks at any second, because that's what they're paid to do.

I remember and still see the way Athens banded together when our community was shattered by a similar situation and it encourages me to know that out of something so bad, so many lives were also changed for the better. So much good came from a combined love for one family. I hope the Hokie nation and their loved ones can find that same kind of peace.

Today...and every day...we have so much to be thankful for.

Spasm!

Over the last couple of weeks my mouth has been sore...more specifically, it feels like the muscle in my cheek on the right side is just exhausted...this week, it got swollen and I started talking like Sean Connery...off to the dentist I went!

After describing the soreness, numbness, and overall tired feeling I was relieved when she said it was a spasm, not an abscess forming or TMJ! She squeezed my cheek gently and touched the muscle that I felt and said THAT was the spasm. Well heck, if I had known THAT was the problem, I would have tackled it sooner! Apparently I talk too much.

So, muscles relaxer, ibuprofen, a temporary night guard, and a soft food diet for about a week or so should fix me up....the only problem is that I can stay OP with my WW plan (that means on plan, doing what I'm supposed to be doing). But, I'm having trouble figuring out how to exercise.

Do you know how much you use your face? I've had to consciously adjust mine about seven times since I started writing this 5 minutes ago. I need to run, I want to run....I have a race in 4 weeks--FOUR! But running requires me to move my face a lot to breathe correctly, and even without meaning to, I tighten the muscles in my cheeks when I run. Yoga! In yoga, I still tighten my face, but I'm more aware of it because, doing gentle yoga, there is a constant awareness of the muscles and you're always trying to find something to relax in a pose...for me, its almost always my face! So, I'll be yoga-ing a lot this week I think...Free weights! I can do a little bit of cross training, but even then I'm scrunching my face. Did I mention the muscle relaxer makes me feel loopy?

So that's whats going on this week....soup, scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, mushy roasted veggies, and milk....that's my diet! All I want is steak, thin crust pizza, a crusty piece of bread for my soup....crunchy food! Hopefully this will all be over soon :)

Thankful Thursday & Happy December!

Happy December! My favorite month for the other 11 months of the year, and then once its here I feel panic...like all the rest of the world has found out how awesome Christmastime is and they're trying to steal it away from me! I love Christmas music, the spirit of giving, the love, the whole shebang the most January-November ♥


This year is different though. I feel like this will be the most amazing, special Christmas ever....no big plans, no secret surprises, I just feel like I've been SO blessed this year and that a blessed Christmas is coming for my loved ones.

Onto Thankful Thursday:
Today, I'm most thankful for knowing what it feels like to be a blessing to someone who will never find out! I'm so overjoyed and blessed to be able to bless others this season that my heart wants to burst out in song. David's office adopted an Angel Tree child--a child within our community whose family cannot afford to buy Christmas presents. As we've been picking things out for her, I feel so blessed, that, even though I'm far from rich, I am able to buy a couple of outfits and some art supplies, a pair of shoes, a warm blanket...for this child I'll never know and who will certainly never know me. I don't need to know her, I don't want recognition...I'm blessed to know that all over the country there are people like me doing the same thing for children they'll never meet. I'm so thankful to be part of something so good, and loving, and selfless. I'm thankful that I've been put in a place to give with a faithful heart. I'm thankful that this child will not wake up Christmas morning and feel left out or lonely, and that her parents won't feel ashamed to have nothing under their tree.

The tree, the presents, the songs--that doesn't make Christmas--the blessings do! And you never know who you're being a blessing to at any given time...

I'm thankful that even when I don't always know where I'm going, God puts me exactly where I need to be! This is truth in health, relationships, with strangers, with friends, at the grocery store...every day! I'm thankful that I'm blessed and able to recognize it and I hope to pass it on.

Thankful Thursday

Every day is Thanksgiving...or it should be...I read something once that said, "what if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?" Wow. Powerful stuff...it is important to have a thankful heart and an attitude of gratitude, especially when things aren't always in your favor or going the way you want.

"Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude."

I haven't been feeling so grateful lately...in fact, I've been a little more of the whiny six-year-old who didn't get the super deluxe Barbie she wanted for all of five minutes and will forget by tomorrow. Now more than ever, its important for me to remember what I'm thankful for. Even my worst days are days some people would fight for and call their best.

I'm thankful that this doggy didn't go to the Humane Society and that she's now 50 pounds of puppy love!

This starts what I hope will become a weekly staple in my blog: Thankful Thursday!

I'm thankful for:
- Family, friends, and a boyfriend who make up my close-knit and very valuable support network everyone should be so lucky to have.
- Sammalamma because she doesn't care what I weigh, what I wear, or what I eat (as long as I share).
- Health!
- Two legs that stand strong, run hard, get me where I'm going, and keep my feet firmly planted on the ground.
- Hope. Because one day will be today.
- Weight Watchers and my boardies, without that I would still be carrying around a small child.
- Blogs! To remind me that I'm not alone and people with more weight to lose are losing, people with no legs are running, and people with worse circumstances are living with a grateful heart.
- A God who loves me even though I don't deserve it.
- A safe and happy place to live, there's no place like home.
- Imperfect relationships, because they give me opportunities to grow.
- Finding a peace in my PCOS and weightloss journey and knowing that people love me for who I am, not how I look
- Farmers ♥ No farms. No food.

The list goes on and on...

So, here's to wishing you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving, and hoping you remember that Thanksgiving is every day!

I'm thankful for just enjoying the ride!

Here are some links to my favorite blogs, starting with the one that prompted this post:
http://www.itsuxtobefat.com/weight-loss
http://www.emilybites.com/
http://skinnyjeans-fatwallet.blogspot.com/
http://www.theboskyblog.com/

Whoa.

Its no secret that I hate pictures of myself...like...I cringe a photos of me...I have almost no photographs of myself after the fall of 2007...yeah, its fall of 2011. Sad.


Last weekend I went to my dad's for his early birthday festivities and my step-mom took pictures as normal. Last year, she took similar pictures and I cried alone in my room in the dark when I saw them on facebook. I was just shocked and uncomfortable and embarrassed (and now I look at the them and wonder what the heck was I wearing!?) I, embarrassed, asked her to delete them because I was so appalled, and loving me, she did. These are the closest things I have to "before" picture...and now that I can laugh about what I was wearing, all I can think is whoa.

November 2010: part of me really can't believe I'm posting this here...

November 2011: Still not an awesome picture of me, but look at the difference in my face!

November 2010: Again....cringe....

November 2011: Not too shabby!

Family :)

This year, I kept the pictures! I actually like most of them! I knew I've lost four pant sizes, but I didn't realize I looked so different! I guess I've found what I needed to keep moving forward : )

Slow News Day

I ran today because I am not a quitter.

The end.

Visual Reminders

Your Weightless Equals.....

1 pound = a Guinea Pig (so, 32.4 guinea pigs!)

1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts (or about 22 dozen donuts--259 donuts total!)

2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs (x16--that's a rib eating contest!)

3 pounds = an average human brain (ten--almost eleven--brains because I'm thuper thmart!)

4 pounds = an ostrich egg (or eight)

 

 

 

 

5 pounds = a Chihuahua (just more than six barking chihuahuas!)

7.5 pounds = an average newborn (about four of my actual nephew, seen here!)

10 pounds= chemical additives an American consumes each year (times 3--gross!)

11 pounds = an average housecat

15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs (I know there are only 10 here, but these are from my stepmom's chickens!)

20 pounds = an automobile tire (literally, a spare tire! By the time I'm done, I will have lost all 4 tires!)

23 pounds = amount of pizza an average American eats in a year (yummmmmmmmmmmm!)

25 pounds = an average 2 year old (again, my nephew!)

30 pounds= the amount of cheese the Average American eats each year

33 pounds = a cinder block (allllllllllmost a cinder block--those things are heavy!)

When I look at it this way, I realize I've come a lot farther than I thought! I may have a small bale of hay left to go, but once I reach my total of 79 pounds lost, I'll be SUPER excited to make that visual post : )

Not Getting Overwhelmed

As of this morning I've lost 32.4 pounds or 129.6 sticks of butter or almost the weight of a cinder block. Sorry Paula Deen, that's a LOT of butter! That sounds amazing!! ...until I realize I have 47 (or 188 sticks of butter or two average two-year-olds) more pounds to go...Wow.

Yay! 32 pounds gone :)

This is the part where I have to focus on how far I've come, not how far I have to go. The weight on my driver's license was correct last month when I renewed it, but now it's got me listed at 2 pounds heavier than I actually am! Who didn't lie on her driver's license? This girl! I was soooo proud of putting my actual weight that day, and I was even more proud that the number didn't start with a "2" : )

Anyway, I digress, this is the hard part. I'm 2.8 pounds away from my New Year's Resolution to lose 30 pounds in 2011--how awesome is that?! But I'm 47 pounds away from being in a "healthy" weight range according to that ridiculous BMI calculator. This is the "it takes a village" part of my journey. This is where I need oodles of positive thoughts, written down goals, and consistency to keep myself from becoming overwhelmed with the remainder of the journey.

This is why I love Weight Watchers! The support I get there plays a huge role in my success or failure, but it doesn't depend on anyone but me! In WW World, there are people working to lose 20 pounds and people working to lose 200 pounds and every one of them encourages their peers through every single step of the way--from the first step, to the first 20 point burger, praise, and tough love--it takes a village!

I'm glad that I love, love, love what I am doing because I'm going to be doing it for a while : )

"Success is not the key to happiness.
Happiness is the key to success.
If you love what you are doing,
you will be successful."
- Albert Schweitzer

Doing Things I Love

I took a brief sabbatical (fun word!)from blogging since my last post and honestly, that was due in part to getting down on myself for staying at the same weight for a whopping eight weeks. Eight whole weeks of not losing (or gaining) in a frustrated cycle of trying to eat more, eat less, exercise more, exercise less, drink more milk, the list goes on and on...then, I remembered something! Hey, Katy, when is the last time you took your measurements? Its been a while. Soooo, I took them again:

Body Part	7/7/2011	8/14/2011	10/29/2011	Total Change
L arm	14.25"	14"	13"	1.25"
R arm	14.5"	13.25"	13.25"	1.25"
Bust	37"	35.5"	34"	3.0"
Waist	41.5"	38.5"	36.5"	5.0"
Hips	44.5"	43.5"	42.5"	2.0"
R thigh	22.25"	20.5"	22"	0.25"
L thigh	25.25"	22.5"	22.5"	2.75
R calf	15.5"	17"	16.5"	1.0"
L calf	16.5"	17.25"	16.5"	0.0"

I've lost five inches from my waist. That's almost a Subway sandwich! And three inches from must bust! That's....1/4 of a ruler! Also, I weighed in today and what's that? A 1.2 pound loss! Something I had not seen since I hit the thirty-pound mark. I literally hit 30 pounds lost and my body just stopped. Hopefully we're back on speaking terms now. 

I told you that to tell you this: it would have been so much easier to give up. To say, "ok, my body is clearly just 'happy' at this weight, so I'm just going to stop." The thing is, I absolutely LOVE working towards a healthier me! You know you're doing something right when even your skin tight UnderArmour fits looser than it did last fall. I stuck with Weightwatchers and my journey because I love it. I love the way it feels to celebrate losing 0.2 pounds and while I don't like having to do it, I love that when I gain 1.2 I can give myself a pep talk, reevaluate what I did wrong that week, and start over with fresh eyes. 

I love being in control of my life and my health, especially when there are so many other things I just can't control. I love running, even though I'm slow. I love cooking healthy weight watchers desserts and sneaking them into all my office functions. I love cooking meals that even David likes (he's lost some weight too as a result of my personal choices, not that he needs to!). I love that because I was inspired to break the cycle of obesity, I was also inspired break the cycle of debt and financial irresponsibility--both of which are running rampant in this country I love. Budgets are sexy. Hard work is fulfilling. Self-confidence is AMAZING! Knowing that I have the power to change my own life is indescribable.  

I’ve run (mostly) 50.36 miles since August 5^th. Considering I couldn’t run for 90 seconds (or so I thought) I’m pretty impressed with that. I’m doing things I love!

Crossing the Finish Line

Ladies and gentlemen, I have completed my first 5k race! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!
I ran the 3.1 miles in 49:51.8 with the last 1/2 mile completely uphill and I crossed the finish line with a smile on my face, cheering family members, and cheering coworkers. 10th overall ranking for my age group! Overall experience: AWESOME.

Because this was my first race I was really, really, insanely nervous. I didn't want to finish last (and I didn't). I walked the steepest uphill climbs because I was blissfully unaware that, even though I live and drive in this hilly city, my 5k route would include.....HILLS.....I set my goal on flat surfaces at 45 minutes, so I'm 100% proud of my 49:54 considering the hills I failed to consider.

The best part?

My family was there!! Mom was there too, but she took all the pictures. Thanks mom!!

My sister made signs :)

I felt strong, fit, empowered...and I was rocking my Kardashian booty (which I love, by the way!) on the way to the finish line!

All for a really great cause! The Athens Homebuilders Association and Coldwell Banker Upchurch Realty was helping raise money to help the wife of SPO Buddy Christian finish the dream they started together.

It wasn't easy, but it was totally worth it! I can't wait for my next race and I'm looking forward to starting B210K this week!

--
It doesn't matter what you've heard,
impossible is not a word. Its just
a reason for someone not to try.
[Kutless]

Race Day!

Ahhhhhhhhhh! It's here: RACE DAY! In less than 8 hours, I run my first 5k everrrrrr! I'm nervous, excited, pumped, nervous, encouraged, and nervous....did I say that already?

I've trained for 12 weeks, took some rest time for the past week, and I'm hydrating this morning. I've got this!!! Right?

I Can Conquer the World!

I just finished my sixth, yes, sixth week of running Couch to 5k. That's a 5 minute warm up, 25 minutes run, and a 5 minute cool down for a grand total of 2.41 miles! After a run, I feel like I can conquer the world. During the run, I feel a little less confident, but when I feel like giving up (and I did today) I distract myself by thinking. Running is a great time to think, envision greatness, set mini-goals, and empower yourself. Today, when the little guy in my ipod said "ten minutes left" I thought he MUST be kidding me! So then, I thought about race day.

My race is in 20 days!! My very first ever 5k. I feel like I'm waiting on Christmas (which is in a mere 81 days, mind you) and I was envisioning me after the race, feeling sooooo empowered to know I'm not the fastest, not the slowest, but that I did it! More importantly, I envisioned a family photo and going out to an after-the-race dinner with my family. See, I need my family's support at this race I'm realizing. At first, I didn't want anyone there but me, because I'm wearing spandex, I'm still overweight, and you know, I didn't want to be embarrassed. But now, I want my family there: mom, dad, step-mom, brothers, sisters, brother-in-law, nephews, even David's family! They've all played such a crucial, encouraging role in this journey, and I just need them there at the race, cheering me on, and being a part of what will be the first picture I've WANTED to be taken of myself in almost 3 years. No kidding. Its not just a want, but a need, one of those heartfelt, as-seen-in-the-movies, fly across the country kind of things. And then, we're going to Olive Garden. Yes, all of this I thought while I was running at 8:30 this morning. I also thought, I need to email them and state my case!

Then the little guy in my ipod said "two minutes left" and I was reminded of about three weeks ago when "two minutes left" was like a death sentence. I'd tell myself, "I can do anything for two minutes" and now that's turned into "I can do anything" for ten...and then twenty....and now twenty-five minutes." And you know what? I can! I can conquer the world!

Finally, "one minute left!" from Mr. iPod guy and I get passed by a 70 year old man with legs of steel. You'd think I might feel discouraged by this, but no way Jose! He ran by, said "good morning!" I responded and smiled, feeling totally empowered. Then the little guy said "cool down" and the angels did sing. I rounded the corner and our Kenyan neighbor from the other building was taking out his trash he smiled and said good morning, I returned the greeting with a smile, and then he said "Good Job" in broken English and gave me a thumbs up! I could feel his sincerity bursting from his smile = )

Two words, so simple, and it totally made my day: "Good job!"

Now I'm off to email my family and conquer the world!

--
Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it." Ezra 10:4

Changing My Body and Changing My Mind

I've decided that I'm going to attempt to include some pictures in my blog now, since its been over a year and I just learned how!

I just completed Week 6 Day 1 of C25K which means....I'm 3 weeks away from "graduating" and being able to run a 5k! My first 5k, of course, is coming up on October 15th and I am totally pumped! I've never wanted to do something badly, and never been so proud of myself for working hard towards such a powerful goal.

So, since I'm so pumped about running and I'm reminding myself that I just want to look like *me* I figured this was a fitting photographic reminder. Who cares if its from nearly 4 years ago?! Not me.

One thing I've learned from this whole experience is that to change my body, I have to change my mind. Shortly after the above picture was taken (by surprise actually, that wasn't a planned shot)I gained 60 pounds in a period of about 90 days. This was while walking 7 miles around campus everyday lugging a bookbag up the gauntlet known as Brumby hill and eating steamed veggies, drinking water, the whole healthy nine-yards. Doctors continued to say "eat less, exercise more" and at some point, that just didn't work for me. I *knew* something was wrong and it wasn't until February of this year (a whopping 3 years later) that I got a doctor to prescribe me the right lifestyle to make a difference.

But, that difference didn't come from some magic pill, or even from Victoza, it came from me. I decided that the babies I want to have in the future are worth working hard right now. I decided that buying local, organic produce and meats is worth the extra expense because, as Emerson said, the first wealth is health. And, I decided that it didn't matter what people thought, said, felt...I owe it to myself to do whatever it takes to be the best me possible. I couldn't be angry, embarrassed, sad, and I certainly couldn't be lazy. I had to change my mind before I could change my body!

Here's a more recent photo from St. Simon's Island in October of 2009. I was 30 pounds heavier then than I am now...and I guess I didn't look as bad as I think I did. Changing my mind....changing my body....

--
It doesn't matter what you've heard, impossible is not a word. Its just a reason for someone not to try. [Kutless]

Taking a Walk Down Memory Lane

Once upon a time, I was thinner than I am now. Also once upon a time, I was 30 pounds heavier than I am today. Here is a walk down memory lane, to remind me that I am awesome, I have a great sense of humor, and my hard work is going to allow me to feel 100% confident uploading new Facebook (and blog) pictures!!

Hey, I know the Dogs lost today, but this picture brought back some really skinny and confident vibes, I've been missing!

Look at those legs!!

This was my uber confident outfit, I've never felt prettier!

How awesome is it that I *don't* want to look like models, actresses, or the people I see in magazines? I only want to look like...ME!

--
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight, her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well, little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care, your skin, your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops, they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
--

Remind yourself...take a walk down memory lane :o)