Saturday, February 19, 2011

Its Getting Better All the Time

I went for a follow up this week to discuss my lab results with my doctor and she was so encouraging! She was pleased to see that all my levels were "normal" but she still wants me to get them a little further from the "high side of normal" so if there is another fluctuation, I'm not in the "High" or "At-Risk" category--I totally agreed--so we decided on a prescription: Victoza.

Victoza is a shot I give myself every morning. It is NOT nearly as bad as it sounds and does not hurt at all. The reason I'm using Victoza is to "slow stomach emptying" while keep my blood sugar level and helping me to lose weight (thus lowering my levels above). What I like about Victoza is #1: is does NOT hurt! #2: it has no amphetamines, so it doesn't make my heart race and #3: it makes me far less hungry because my blood sugar stays level.

In other news, this week I conquered a major goal I've had for a while: hanging out with friends! I know, that sounds really silly, but for the past few years its been difficult for me to see friends (and even family) because of the insecurities brought on my my sudden weight gain and inability to get the weight off. It wasn't that I feel like any of my friends or family were going to judge me, but more that no one comes up and says "Wow you've gained a TON of weight! What in the world happened??" because people--myself included--assume weight gain comes from poor life choices. I knew no one would ask, and figured that if they didn't see me, they couldn't be shocked. What a sad way to go through life!

So this week, I had lunch with my baby sister! She isn't really a baby...she'll be 21 in a few months, but still....I made a lunch date with her and kept it and I had a blast! I also went out on Thursday night for a pedicure and some sushi with one of my closest friends from high school (and waaaaay beyond that!) and I had a blast! It was really good for me to go out and have fun and just be myself!

So, I go back to the doctor on March 15 to see how I'm doing on the Victoza and in between now and then, I hope to continue to make great strides and keep feeling better with every day!

There can never be a more beautiful you. Don't buy the lies, disguises and hoops they make you jump through. You were made to fill a purpose that only you can do, so there can never be a more beautiful you!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Results Are In

Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most... ~Hope Floats

Well, the result are in...and the doctor says...ALL my levels (testosterone, insulin, cholesterol, blood sugar) are NORMAL! Since my last labs, approximately May 2010 my levels have gone from "high" to "normal" and that is AWESOME!! That's the good news. The bad news is that I still need to lose right at 50 pounds (one pound at a time!) and that my "normal" levels are still a little on the higher side of the normal range. So, for now, the doctor says she does not believe I have PCOS, but rather "an unspecified androgen excess" which leads to the blood sugar issues I feel, the fatigue and the random other symptoms I feel. For now, my treatment includes diet, exercise and spironolactone--which I've taken before and doesn't make me feel worse!

So, this is gold! But, I'm aware that there is also some additional digging that needs to happen before I'm completely satisfied with my adventure.

I can now confidently say that all this hippie stuff I've done over the last year is actually making a difference! I knew I could feel a difference, but it helps to have a doctor actually tell me to keep doing it because it really does help! This is also a prefect time for me to plug my "no-poo" campaign, which has actually helped my hair loss tremendously and also stopped my frequent (almost daily) headaches.

So, I'm turning over a new chapter of NOT actually having PCOS, but essentially having PCOS, Jr. I'm not sure of everything that is coming my way, but I'm totally prepared to take it head on and so incredibly grateful for the blessings of having people in my life who support my crazy, hippie lifestyle! Its all for the better!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Digging for gold...

Some days, its hard to remember all the ways we are loved when so many people, media outlets, facebookers, strangers, etc. are constantly dogging on how bad things are. We, unfortunately, live in the land of the easily offended and that often results in such a focus on the bad and straying from the good. Why? Because good, happy, warm fuzzies don't sell as many magazines, get as many hits on YouTube or CNN and the don't get remembered....or do they?

I'm of the opinion that there is always good to be found in every situation. Everyone on this earth deserves happiness and love and to be free of judgment and everyone has something to offer--something to teach--something to show you...its just that sometimes you have to look a lot harder to find the value in the small things and frustrating situations.

Sometimes my life with (or without--its yet to be determined) PCOS is like digging for gold (thanks to the History Channel for the idea). You have lots of dirt and rocks and water eroding the dirt and rocks, but you know that somewhere in all the mud is gold. Something worth thousands per ounce (and think of an ounce as a piece of string cheese). But--you have to work for it. And just when you think things are going perfectly according to plan, your machine breaks setting you back a few days and a few thousand bucks. Still worth the trouble? The blood, sweat and tears? YES!

See, I'm constantly mining to find the gold in the situation of PCOS. Things change, there are kinks in my plan, but I keep looking. I have to. I can't give up yet, I don't have all the answers and I refuse to do anything halfway. And then, when you least expect it, in a pan full of silt, something glitters...almost invisible...but its there if you look hard enough. That's gold.

Right now, I'm digging. Panning actually, I've got my bucket full of dirt and I'm just waiting to see what I can find. I've finally found a doctor who listened to me, did some labs and by next Tuesday, I should have my next step planned out. The gold I've already found is a new perspective. A love for myself, that I have to admit requires a pep-talk every now and then. And a support system found in the unlikeliest of places.

Everything that glitters isn't gold, but all that is gold does not glitter.

"I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more!"