Sunday, June 26, 2011

A New Decade

"Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit." - Conrad Hilton

I've officially lost 25 pounds as of this morning! That's ★★★★★ pounds of weight gone! A huge win over PCOS/Thyroid/Hormones/whatever else is wrong with me, but its also a huge win on my confidence level, self-esteem, and of course, overall health.

...then why aren't I more excited?

Don't get me wrong, I'm so PUMPED that I've stuck with something really difficult, forgiven myself when I make mistakes, and continually I see the fruits of my labor (hello, I just donated 6 boxes of clothes that no longer fit me to Goodwill!) but for some reason I feel a little disappointed to see 189.5 on the scale. Looking at it here, however, looks freaking awesome!

I think maybe its the fact that I'm still so far away from my goal...but then I remind myself that I'm 1/3 of the way to my ultimate goal and that seems totally doable. Ahhhh the roller coaster! It's been an emotional week, so I'll chalk it up to that! At least I'm not eating a dozen cupcakes a week and sitting around complaining about things I could change if I didn't spend so much time complaining (that's another quote from somewhere...hmmmm).

I guess I'm just ready for another milestone in my life!If only the other part of my life could catch up :)

"To accomplish great things, we must
not only act, but also dream, not
only plan, but also believe."
- Anatole France

Thursday, June 16, 2011

A New Diagnosis?

Today I went to the doctor for an annual visit and physical--good news, I'm healthy! The doctor was pleased with my weight loss and everything went great. Then, she was looking through my file, which is pretty thick, let's be honest...and noticed that my TSH level from my last visit was elevated. TSH or thyroid-stimulating hormone is basically the "thing" that says whether your pituitary gland is working effectively, less-than-effectively, or super-effectively. A "normal" TSH level, according to my doctor is a 1.2 and my TSH level was a 3.69--yikes!

The term she used was "pre-hypothyroidism" and she prescribed me with two medications to try for two months before I go back. She was very open about this being trial and error because medicine is not an exact science where every patient fits every care plan, but said its worth a shot. So, we'll see how that goes.

Victoza has helped me tremendously, and I will also still be taking that. But, I can't deny that I am still very tired, my hair is still falling out, and I still have dry just isn't as bad as it used to be :) so, I'll update again in 2 months when I have more information. For now, I'm keeping an open mind!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Fat Talk

This is a post from another blogger I recently came across...


This was just too powerful not to share.

[[ PART I ]]
If you’re a long-time reader, you know the issue of Fat Talk is something I take very seriously. As Jillian Michaels said,"Fat talk is transcending…. It affects your reality and damages you professionally, personally, and physically."

I’ve posted this video about Fat Talk a few times before, but not recently. If you haven’t watched this before, please do! It’s so powerful and I cry every time:

* Don’t compare your body to others.
* Appreciate your body for what it can do.
* Turn a negative into a positive. Instead of "I’m stocky," try "I’m strong!"
* Never Fat Talk in front of your kids or friends.

[[ PART II ]]
This section of the Fat Talk discussion is dedicated to the statement, "I feel so fat."

How many times have you eaten something and then said, "Ugh. I feel so fat"? This is completely hyperbolic reaction to overindulging. First of all, even skinny women who aren’t "fat’ say it. Secondly, there’s no way one meal or one dessert can suddenly make you "fat."

So, what do we really mean when we say, "I’m so fat"? We actually mean that we are FULL WITH AN EMOTION. Oftentimes, it’s shame. Or sadness. Or fear. Why do we express our inner turmoil by hating our bodies? Because that’s what Fat Talk and society tells us to do. Don’t admit you’re scared, just feel fat! Don’t admit you’re lonely or depressed, you’re just fat! We can deal with ugliness, we cannot deal with weakness. The next time you feel the urge to say, "I’m so fat," think about what you REALLY mean. By berating your body, you aren’t doing any favors. But by honoring your emotions, you’re living a happier, more honest life.

[[ PART III ]]

If only one thing about this discussion about Fat Talk resonates with you, remember this: When you feel guilty about food, you are experiencing distorted thinking.

I’m not saying that means you have an eating disorder. I’m just saying that feeling guilty — raw, consuming, upsetting GUILT — is not a normal, healthy reaction to eating and is thus distorted. I think it’s important to recognize when our thinking is distorted, as the way we view ourselves has a big impact on our lot in life. All women experience guilt with food to some degree. I know I used to feel a really guilty if I drank two beers and ate a few slices of pizza. Or a big dessert. Sometimes, it didn’t even have to be a calorie-heavy meal to trigger the guilt. I’d have a bigger breakfast than normal, and I would fret that I’d "blown it" for the day or that I’d "given into temptation."

Guilt is internal Fat Talk.

It is shaming yourself for not meeting a perfectionist ideal that is unattainable and determined by the rigid standards our society has created! If you wouldn’t say it out loud to a friend, why would you say it to yourself?

Maybe right now you’re thinking: "But a little guilt can be a GOOD thing!" or "Guilt is a normal reaction to indulging!" But, if guilt was healthy or "normal," it would be PRODUCTIVE and it would make you HAPPY. Do you find yourself feeling guilty over food a lot? Well, then — you’re repeating the same actions over and over again, and clearly… Guilt isn’t productive, it doesn’t work, and it only serves to lower your self -esteem. Guilt is a waste of time and takes away from productive things you could be doing with your time — meditating, studying, sleeping, calling your friends on the phone, and more.

* You aren’t going to gain weight from one dessert.
* You aren’t a bad person for enjoying dinner.
* You aren’t weak because you were hungrier than normal.

How do you stop guilt? It’s so much harder to stop than Fat Talk — after all, we verbalize Fat Talk to others and it’s easier to "catch" ourselves in conversation. Guilt, on the other hand, is this weird, creeping feeling that takes over you, ruins your day, and triggers the blues. I would say I cut down on my guilt thinking by about 90%, which I consider to be a big accomplishment. I stopped guilting myself by really thinking about my eating in the grand scheme of life. Did that pizza make me gain weight? No. Did it actually hurt my health in any measurable way that I ate a bunch of French fries? No. Am I an awesome friend and hard worker who is so much more than the food she eats? Of course!

If there is something about your lifestyle that you want to change, be proactive and CHANGE IT. Guilting yourself about it does not work. Taking action to move onwards and upwards does. Every setback is an opportunity to learn, grow, and improve.

Join me on the quest to eliminate Fat Talk in all its nasty and evil forms from our lives! Remember, it starts now… and it starts with you.

Friday, June 10, 2011

(( *G*O*A*L* ))

I switched my weigh-in days to Friday mornings instead of Saturdays and today was a fan-freaking-tastic day! I hit my 10% goal, bringing me to a total loss of 22.4 pounds. WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That's some serious celebration right there!

I'm so proud of myself, but I have to also be proud of the fact that it took me a while to lose those pounds and reach this goal. It isn't that I don't want to lose quickly (I mean really, lets get those last 47 pounds gone shall we??) but my overall goal is to be HEALTHY and losing weight slowly, eating real food, every day, exercising regularly (but not like a crazy person) is WORKING! Weight Watcher Works. Period. It isn't a diet, it isn't temporary, it changes the way I think about food and the way I define “healthy” and it works for me and millions of other people.

I’m proud of the fact that its taken me six months to reach this goal. I’m proud that every week I lost 0.4 pounds I kept pushing and didn’t give up. I’m even more proud that when the scale said +1.2 I didn’t give up. And I didn’t give up because this is REAL LIFE and that means its going to fluctuate, change, and be imperfect. There’s something incredibly gratifying about working hard to achieve my goals.

And now, I’m working towards my next goal: another 10% (about 20 more pounds) but I’m 1/3 of the way to my Ultimate Goal, which is a pretty awesome place to be! It sure beats where I was six months ago :o)

Remember, nothing works unless you do!