I've heard this song a thousand times and tonight, it just had such a different impact on me: (from http://www.jonnydiaz.com/?p=77)
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn’t straight her body isn’t fake
And she’s always felt overweight
Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don’t buy the lies, disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
You see, PCOS has had such a huge impact on my "physical" self, but the emotional impacts can't be denied either. Take yourself, fresh out of high school, 19, active, perfectly healthy, confident--and add 65 pounds for no apparent reason, over the course of three months (January to March). Then imagine that no matter what you do, doctors tell you there's nothing wrong "eat less, exercise more."
My physical body changed...a lot...so much that it keeps (and has kept) me from taking family pictures and meeting up with old friends--good friends, who I know in my heart would NEVER judge me based on my appearance. PCOS has made me hate mirrors, short sleeves and tank tops, bikinis, shorts and summer in general but it has forced me to unconditionally love myself exactly as I am. I was made to fill a purpose, that only I can do--there can never be a more beautiful ME!
Part of that purpose is (hopefully) teaching someone something they didn't know before about PCOS and living a healthier lifestyle. One of the MANY things PCOS has taught me is essentially not to judge a book (person) by its cover (appearance).
I didn't "get" PCOS from overeating, being lazy, eating the wrong kinds of foods or by ANY of the general assumptions associated with someone who is overweight. I used to think I did this to myself. Now I look at it as, no, I did not do this to myself, but I am the only one who can dig myself out of this hole. I like a challenge, and this is one I am ready to face.
In so many ways, I'm thankful for PCOS because it has taught me about lifestyle changes I never knew I needed to make. Things like chemicals, organic foods, hormones, nature....PCOS is primarily responsible for bringing me to a place where I've put myself first, my health, and the health of the babies I want to have down the road--all of that is totally in perspective thanks to PCOS....its not a death sentence, its just a chapter in a pre-written book for which I do not yet have an ending. I'm through with PCOS holding me back. Its time to KEEP living! I have PCOS, it does NOT have me :)
There could never be a more beautiful you.
Don’t buy the lies, disguises and hoops they make you jump through.
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do.
So there could never be a more beautiful you!